This November, we will be electing the next President of the United States. Some say it’s the most important election of our time. I’m not particularity amazed by either candidate and personally, don’t think I should HAVE to just go out and vote for the ‘lesser of two evils’ (as everyone else puts it) so I got to thinking.
And then it dawned on me.
The next President of the United States of America, should be Nicolas Cage. So I started a petition and before you laugh it off, check out what the petition says and after looking at all of his qualifications – I dare you to tell me he isn’t qualified:
America needs change. A change that we can get behind. For those who definitely don’t want Trump or Clinton in charge, I have one word for you:
CAGE.
After looking through Nicolas Cage’s history, we are convinced that he has the right type of methods to make this country great again. He’s also more qualified than ANY other candidate currently running – BY FAR:
- Held the Deceleration of Independence longer than ANY other candidate.
- Is a former Secret Service Agent and protected Tess Carlisle – a widow of a former President. Therefore, he could protect himself, which also brings us to our next point:
- Is a Vampire, so he can’t die or be assassinated, so security would be minimal. He’s immortal. He was also an Angel at one point.
- Has the support of religious folk, as he has experience in fighting demons and could protect us from a potential apocalypse.
- Knows the ins and outs of illegal gun trafficking.
- He supports the arts, and was a former painter.
- He really cares about bees and doesn’t want you to waste them.
- He’s a sorcerer.
- Is a former Lieutenant, Captain and was a Sergeant in WWII.
- Was at Ground Zero tending to the victims of 9/11.
- America is in his hair.
- Changed his last name from Coppola to Cage (Luke Cage) because of his love for Marvel. Who doesn’t love Marvel?
- And before you say he’s biased against DC Comics, he named his son Kal-El.
- He creates jobs. A 20-year-old woman once miraculously landed two job offers after accidentally emailing a photo of the star to a potential employer instead of her résumé. (TIME)
- Donated a million to Hurricane Katrina victims.
- Forbes added him to the list of most charitable celebrities.
So, instead of just saying, “well, I have to vote for somebody” or “I have to vote for the lesser of two evils” and not really caring about who you vote for, vote for change everyone can get behind. Vote for someone who is qualified and has the experience and tools necessary to get the job done.
Sign the petition here and follow the movement on Facebook.